It’s been a wee while since my last post. At the moment that seems to be the average; and this makes me sad because I had certainly planned to write a lot more. But there is light… there is both a cause for this behaviour and a reason why it will not be the case for much longer. Huzzah! I can’t have you thinking I’m going AWOL again now can I? I like you far too much for any of that business.
So… since July when I turned my life full on upside down, things have been, you could say, unsettled somewhat. I’ve moved a long way away, leaving behind a boy and a cat, and depressingly managing to fit my whole life into a Ka (including one very broken heart – but that’s probably a whole other blog. And the fact that I’m actually writing that now as opposed to completely ignoring the fact, may suggest that the heart’s doing a little bit better) and travel the length of the M1 to return to my southern roots and make it in the big bad city.
I’ve been freelancing my arse off, plunged into a whole new world career-wise, socially, geographically… there are many more “lly” examples that I could insert here, but you get the idea. But before you get bored of the woe is me waffling; I actually kind of like that kind of change (minus the broken heart), and under most circumstances it excites rather than terrifies me. Nonetheless, there’s been a fair bit of adaptation. And just when I started to get used to the butt-kissing, the 24 hour shifts, and the constant stress of where my next day’s work was going to come from… I only went and got a full-time contract. A six month full-time contract no less. Now, that may not seem like a long time to be employed but in TV that is gold dust, and to me at the time given the aforementioned Life-Packed-Into-Ka-without-a-Job/Home/Boy/Cat scenario it’s the equivalent of ETERNITY. To me it means stability, getting back on my feet, and getting my priorities in order. Number 1 being, of course: the diabetes.
I’ve been trying, godammit. Really, REALLY hard. I’ve learnt enough lessons along the way to know that you can’t ignore your diabetes for very long without it rearing its ugly head and letting you know damn well it’s not going anywhere so you better acknowledge it, sista! But dear god commuting for nearly two hours each way, each day, I may aswell be getting on a fast train to carb city. It is so HARD to eat well, and limit the carbs, when you’re tired (in the morning), exhausted (in the evening), it’s dark when you leave, and also when you land. I tried having breakfast before I left the house, but I was starving by the time I walked into the office. I tried to have breakfast when I got to the office, but the lack of food left me asleep on the train in – dangerous in the fight to actually alight at the correct stop and make it to work at all! There is also a canteen that appears to be the spawn of the Carb King. Pasta, chips, jacket potatos, sandwiches, pies… it’s everywhere. Water, water, everywhere!!!
But it’s all part of the fun, really. A new challenge, a new lifestyle, and it just calls for extra testing, a couple of extra units here and there after guzzling a latte the size of a fish tank (I know, I know, but it’s like a big fat 7am cuddle. Who doesn’t love a big fat 7am cuddle?!) and some forward planning.
And there’s a reason not to feel sad about any of this… coz I’m moving to LONDON BABY!!! So the two hour commute will soon be more than halved, and after scoping out a few cold, damp, student-esque holes masquering as bedrooms (been there, done that, no thank you), I’ve found a beautiful flat between Balham and Clapham South that is homely, girly and lovely. Fingers crossed, but I got a lovely feeling from it, and when they offered me the room I was pleasantly surprised that I hadn’t scared them off by my scatty first impression (I also tripped up the stairs when I was looking round the house. Win).
Without a doubt the move is going to bring yet more diabetes-related challenges (cocktails anyone?) and definitely bank balance-related challenges come to that (I’m still yet to have enough pennies spare for a fabulous London wardrobe), but HELL you only live once. So guys, I’ve arrived. I’m come daaaan saaaffff (again) and achieved, with many tears, a hundred blood tests, and a whole lotta support from Papa Grieves and my absolutely beautiful friends, what I intended to achieve. I’m still standing. Better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor… (are you singing into your hairbrush too? No?)
So hopefully, as of November 6th (two weeks baby!) when I’m all set up in my box room (really, it’s tiny), I can blog blog blog to my heart’s content. Apologies for the slightly un-diabetes related post, but we’re all friends here. And the diabetes isn’t going away, we all sadly know that. So if previous escapades are anything to go by, there’ll be PLENTY to blog about.
P.S. In keeping with the slightly off-topic post, I wanted to share this with you all, even though I’m fully aware I’m shortly going to sound like a tragic, sad old lady. Here is my cat, Lola. She’s currently still up North. I know some of you may not care for Lola, but I was honestly never a cat person until I got Lola. She’s is the most awesome cat in the history of cats, and I honestly never realised how much it was possible to love an animal. I adore her, and I miss having her around every single day. Sometimes, like now when I’m sat on my bed typing, I’m suddenly completely and utterly overwhelmed by how much I wish I could have her purring on my lap, getting in the way of the keyboard and generally being a scatty, hilarious, feline representation of her mum (that’s me, btw). I need Lola back, very soon. Sniff.